tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76575683268559715112024-03-05T05:03:49.397-08:00The moment of life. ♥God created your life, And you're in charge to colour it, make it beautiful.ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-58114829139234581812018-07-26T22:23:00.004-07:002018-07-26T22:26:37.188-07:00I miss home.“farm啊,你一定会homesick的,你以前去camp也是第一天晚上就哭了啊!”<br />
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对,没错。 我来到这里两个星期有多,我想家了。</div>
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朋友们,神预言啊!</div>
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出国念书?离开家里? 多久? 半年? 不用怕吧 很快就过去了··· 大多数人都跟我这样说。</div>
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我没想过这个出国念书的计划会实行,也没想过爸爸会让我就这样去了。更何况我详细了解家里的财政状况,觉得让我出国念书是一个天方夜谭。我爸爸供不起我出国念书啊··· 在飞机上,还想起妈妈说的话,觉得妈妈受了不少委屈也都是因为撑我,让我可以好好的出国,哭得稀里哗啦的。想回去出发的那一天,妈妈提早回家也是不想看到我大哭才这样做的吧····</div>
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我从来没有离开家里多过3-4天, 旅行除外,毕竟旅行是和家人一块去。现在,我还挺佩服我自己能捱过两个星期自己一个人在外地生活。回想起我第一次在这里跟妈妈video call,我眼睛含着泪,告诉她我一切都还好,妈妈的眼睛是红的。 我还故意吸鼻子的说这里很冷,来掩饰我想哭的心情,不时还把摄像头往天花板看。‘姐,做么你看天花板,给我看下我的肥肥有没有肥到~’, 这句话把我逗笑了,心里想着就算是我胖了你也是开心的吧··· 至少我在这里没饿着,定时吃饭睡觉才变胖。</div>
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某天早晨,滑脸书时看见一个post,莫名戳中自己内心深处想家的念头。 默默的擦着眼泪,动作也不敢太大,真怕惊醒同床的室友,只好静悄悄的坐在角落小声的哭。</div>
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我在家的时候,一直都说妈妈不要煮饭,我们吃外面吧,还是我们上网order delivery,可是现在想迟到妈妈煮的,真的很难。我很讨厌妈妈煮的粥,因为吃腻了,可是现在想吃吃看妈妈煮的鸡蛋粥还真的吃不了······</div>
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话说到这里,眼泪又不争气的落了··· 是多久没看到妈妈,听到她的碎碎念,甚至还想被她骂一下才觉得心里好过一些。 哎··· </div>
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每天都睡不好,胃也在搞事情··· 想吃多一个胃药都想起妈妈的叮嘱,不到忍无可忍都不要吃多,不要依赖比较好, 又把第二颗药放回盒子里去了。不断安慰自己,忍一忍会过去的,多几天说不定就会适应了。嗯···</div>
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ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-8158537703294851642017-03-25T12:08:00.001-07:002017-03-25T12:08:08.558-07:00UNI LIFE.I started my uni life since 4 weeks aka a month ago. I still feel everything is so unreal because I never really take a long break after finishing my diploma. After the final semester exam ended, I only take few weeks off to go and have a bonding session with my friends and families. After that, I started the summer school which is only taking the MPU subjects for 2 months. During the 2 months, friends in college keep on pressuring me with the stories of previous seniors who studied in UOW. KILL ME PLEASE. I do think of getting a long break and looking for a proper job to earn some pocket money but no one wants to hire me. OK, maybe I wasn't that sincere on sending resume I guess? So my mum asked me to go study rather than wasting time at home like a useless wood.<br />
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Back to the uni life. The rules and regulations on every subject are slightly same but it is quite confusing at the same time. Basic rules are same of course, but some important details are the one to decide you whether you should fail your paper or pass your paper. When I was in diploma, everything is not that serious and you can just attend the class for attendance and ciao.<br />
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IT IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY FOR NOW!! It is not that easy peasy lemon squeezy anymore. Once you skip one class, you will never get back to the track. I AM SERIOUS. Even I never skip for the class, I still cannot follow the syllabus. Every week have to submit a few pages tutorial for all the subject you take, citation all that shit must be included otherwise you will get 0. Lecturer mentioned we need to do citation for every piece of work, some of the work must follow the citation requirement like you must cite 4 journals, 2 textbooks or what so ever. You will have to bring the subject outline with you all the time. It stated all the work you need to do and the syllabus you will need to cover for every week. Attendance must be 80% present for both tutorial and lecture. It is Australian study program which means we as a student will need to use Aus textbooks, reference books, and everything from AUS.<br />
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I am a very lazy person tbh. Doing work every day is not my style, some more lecturers posted all the work in soft copy. I wonder why they like to post the videos on moodles and ask us to watch it. It is freaking 2 hrs video. It is not a video anymore, it should be a movie. I feel like dying every time they ask us to do the video watching..............<br />
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I don't know how to stay alive ah.... let's see the result for the first semester.....ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-64234192022422546942017-01-03T11:11:00.003-08:002017-01-03T11:13:18.916-08:00你究竟在為誰而演戲?太多的事情,太多的心情。太多太多⋯ 想法子去安慰,卻沒有這個能力,唯有做個靜靜的聆聽者。知道的故事太多,想要的就是得到一種安慰,一種救贖。當你越是想要把事情搞好,卻往往會弄巧反拙。你究竟是在為誰而這樣做?<br />
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越是努力想改變自己的生活,卻慢慢的失去自我。越是想把自己搞得精彩,卻忘記了自己活著的意義。越是這樣,你開始質疑,轉牛角尖。你究竟又是在為誰呢?<br />
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我有時還真的很質疑自己,我自己真正要的是什麼⋯ 有種自欺欺人久了,開始懷疑面前的一切是在安慰自己還是自己真正想要的東西。我究竟是怎樣了?<br />
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我拼命的努力,卻得不到認同。我拼命的爭取,卻被現實打敗。我拼命追尋,卻被失望打擊。我相信奇蹟,但奇蹟不發生在我身上。<br />
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或許,上帝的指引,我還未能參透⋯⋯ 繼續的腳踏實地吧!ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-61029551700977277192016-12-14T01:25:00.003-08:002018-07-26T21:45:18.075-07:00做人何必如此?欢喜忧愁,夹杂在一起。来到了年尾,又是一个总结2016年的时候。<br />
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恢复单身才发现之前原来错过了很多,很多与家人朋友一起的时间。慢慢发觉原来我是多么的注重感情躲过亲情和友情。这一年半的时间里,可以说是学了很多,也了解与认识自己很多很多。在快乐与悲伤的结合里,发现人与人之间需要的不只是信任那么简单,也需要更多的包容与耐心。我们明显在各种磨合里慢慢失去原本的初衷,也慢慢的失去自我。我想把最好的都留给身边的那个他,但是那个他并不是这样认为吧。当你拼命的计划着彼此的未来,但是对方却拼命地想办法,找理由结束。从符合的那一次开始就不被认可,不被祝福,直到现在,大家都还在为我那逝去的爱情感到惋惜。当初的他是多么的让人满意,当初的他是多么的好,多么得让人赞不绝口。现在的他,像是过街老鼠,人人喊打。</div>
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计划赶不上变化,很有计划的时候通常都被临时的事情而打乱。这种不在节奏上的生活好累。我很想有计划地去实行每一件事情,但是偏偏突如其来的变化让你把一次一次的期待统统粉碎。我很不喜欢不按牌理出牌,明明决定好了,又要换来换去,不是一次而是好几次。内心充满着期待去完成一件事情,却被一堆不知道是什么的事情毁了一次又一次。好好的期待,却换来一次又一次的失落。人就是这样吧。</div>
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现在的结束,我并不觉得可惜。完全有着心理准备的去接受这个结果,还完全不觉得难过的心情去接受这一切。也许,累计了那么多的不满,难受,委屈,真的抱着一种想要解脱的心情来结束这一切。我明明可以忘记一切不开心的事情,却被训练成难过也要放在心上让自己煎熬,难受。我好像变得更加的负面了。</div>
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时间啊时间,让我又爱又恨。爱你是因为你真的可以有这个能力淡化一切事情,恨你是因为你有这个能力让一切事情变得不如预期。现在唯有让所有事情画上个句号,一切都成为过去。完全没再留恋,也没有那个感觉了。只能说一次一次的伤害已照成了心灵上的麻痹,已经没有任何可以再次心动的机会了。真是没想到,当初让我充满信心地一次感情却让我现在完全死心,甚至什么都不想要了。真的····完全····死了。</div>
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想起第一次分手的时候说的那些狗话,说让我们一起等几年后的相遇是否会有火花,现在不想了,不要了。彼此都知道不适合对方却硬要在一起,我们尝试了,不行就是不行,不能强求。你让我走,我也让你走。大家解脱吧,什么五年后的约定都别了。不知道你会不会看到,但是就当作是我自我提醒吧。之前死死都不肯说结束,是希望我们都会有那个热诚与信念,可以战胜一切磨练与困难。原来不行就是不行啊。大家都有问题但就是不要去解决,你累了,我何尝不是也更累吗? </div>
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忍一时风平浪静,退一步海阔天空。 </div>
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真的能这样吗?你能忍到几时?退到哪里?我忍气吞声,退到无路可退,有苦往心里去啊。有些时候说出来是因为真的忍无可忍了,退无可退了。你却懵然不知!教训就是,别以为你单方面的忍与退就可以得到好的结果。回想起来,我真的是犯贱,太愚蠢极致。明明各种暗示,提示都在说明那一个人已经没心经营了,我却热脸贴冷屁股,倒贴啊!那段日子,真的行尸走肉般的生活,感谢到最后得到释放。</div>
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有些话,藏在心里久了,虽知没人在乎但还是想宣泄出来。语言也只能够是表达自己的一部分了。我决定不再回头,也不会挽留。不属于我的东西,我不强求。祝你幸福。</div>
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庆幸,身边的事物都已顺利完成。</div>
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ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-3009121722535104452016-05-06T21:27:00.001-07:002018-08-19T10:35:46.795-07:00我仿佛看見什麽不知道爲什麽, 我們又爲不知道什麽事情而吵架。Online寫的大便啊,什麽吵架時增進感情,臥槽!想騙鬼啊?好煩,好煩。我想我真的想盡辦法去平息這些我自己造成的混亂,可是卻平息不了一個人心裏的憤怒。由於長期性的折磨,這即將成爲一場悲劇。我好想哭,因爲哭是我唯一能抒發情緒的方法。但是不知道什麽時候我哭,竟然變成另外一個人的壓力。我的天啊!<br />
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我現在説什麽都沒用吧,説是自己心裏委屈,其實都是自己造成;說傷心,也還不都是自己拿來衰的。哎,嘆氣也是個錯。説些有的沒得,都是我自己單方面的想法。唉···</div>
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ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-24445008852428915332016-02-03T09:13:00.001-08:002016-02-03T09:14:37.621-08:00老娘還未許願!好一個爛理由,爲了要還我powerbank而特地來我家的阿董,製造了一個很合理的理由讓他還有幾個朋友兒出現在我家。好棒棒的說。<br />
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一身睡衣,一臉睡意,一個驚喜,一堆喜樂。<br />
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十二點了,生日快樂。</div>
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浩文哥捧著蛋糕出現在我面前,那一刻真的有點想哭的説,但是又覺得很搞笑爲什麽那麽好笑呢?呵呵 急急忙忙的要我吹蠟燭,吹了才發現·············· (鏈接標題)</div>
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謝謝大家,感謝有你們。也感謝所有人的愛戴 ;) </div>
ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-90812550975620762222016-01-14T08:46:00.004-08:002016-01-14T08:50:08.286-08:00心煩心累想當初一開始的march intake走到現在只剩下的小貓兩三隻,心裡還真的有很多感觸。「你是來上課還是來玩啊?」 我心裡不斷說服自己我是來念書的,並不是來搞啥洨的,但是這種college生活就是要有些人的存在才能更好啊啊⋯<br />
我是多麼希望自己有一大gang的人,一起上下課,一起擠爆某間餐廳、課室、電梯什麼的。擠屁股啦,人數都不到五個 🙄 心累。就是因為人數不上不下,自己又沒辦法自high,分組的時候就難過了。今天啊,就他媽的 好像顆球一樣被踢來踢去,自己無法成立一組,只好把尊嚴丟掉,面子吃掉,去委屈自己求別人跟你一組。靠。你還要看別人的臉色,別人又不是很想跟你一組,可是你就是沒辦法啊 誰叫你人少 別人隨隨便便,愛理不理,有你沒你也沒差。人賤就是這樣。我最後跟誰一組我都不知道(-。-;<br />
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要不是心裡難受,都不會想找人傾訴。要不是我覺得又累又有點moodswing我可能早就鳥你都傻,要睡去睡啦的那種pattern。想到已經沒人可以跟我聊了所以才想要撒嬌一下下 想讓你哄哄我 問問我什麼事情 再關心下下我 唉⋯ 人是自私的嘛,誰會真的不吧自己擺在第一位,是人都會先想想自己吃虧還是吃土,吃泥還是吃金啊⋯⋯ 是我對你太有信心,覺得你會好好的跟我聊聊,畢竟這是一個每天都會做的事情。唉,到底是誰無法領悟這其中的道理? 這習慣,這自然,這依賴,這不斷重複上演的泡沫劇⋯⋯ 算了吧,這樣糾纏也不是辦法,再也不這樣了。你要幹嘛就幹嘛吧。反正有苦自己咽都已經是家常便飯的事了。不煩你了 orz<br />
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此時此刻好沒安全感喔。(;_;)<br />
지금나 어떻게 해야지? 몰라.ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-52752045247313937932015-08-20T22:57:00.001-07:002015-08-20T22:57:26.259-07:00不知為啥,心裡一直覺得很難過。我不想再去見人,覺得為什麼要那麼累啊? 一直在裝什麼只是想讓別人第一眼不討厭自己。哎唷 心裡百感交集。我不知道。ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-37641462042559110022015-05-22T09:59:00.002-07:002015-05-22T10:11:47.433-07:00Part 1<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">人是无法满足所有人。我静静一个人,躲在家里,默默的理解、默默的发现,想找一个人聊天都找不到。昔日与我畅谈大事小事的人已不知往哪个方向,去追寻自己的梦想了。想到这里,还真的心酸。呆在家里的十多个小时,家里的每一个角落我都几乎转了一遍,等等</span><span style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">,<span lang="ZH-CN">不止一遍吧。第一次体会到在家都不知道要做什么的感觉了。我真的傻傻的坐在沙发,躺在沙发,脑袋里完全想不到可以做的。甚至连吃、喝都懒得动,这颓废的一天,我成了烂泥一坨。一直以为这样的情形不会发生在我身上,但到今天我才发现那只是我天真的想法。</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">朋友们都纷纷上大学了,我眼里只有羡慕。虽然我也在读书,但是想到他们身边都是一群熟悉的盆友,就真的让我眼红。话虽如此,但自己犯贱,想要去一个远地方甚至不想要遇到熟人什么的,想打算重新开始另外一段生活。试想当你去到一个新的环境,你需要的还是你的好朋友啊,但是我他妈的就没有一个朋友在身边。我几乎每一天都在崩溃,我多么希望是谁谁谁、哪个那个来陪着我一起上课、一起说笑、一起下课、一起做功课。还真他妈有一股冲动想要转校。但想想只是去念书,不是去交朋友啊,就默默打消这个吃力不讨好的念头。啊</span><span style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">! College life <span lang="ZH-CN">真的什么人都有。最近就跟一个香蕉朋友比较要好,觉得他人不错,还蛮好玩的。哪知道不知哪一天提早一个小时到学校,就跟同班同学坐在一起聊天。他们还真小心翼翼地问我跟香蕉同靴是不是很要好。说完他们就好心提醒我不要跟他那么要好,不然背后被插几刀死在路边什么事都不知道。哇,好深奥。没想到七早八早的就听到这些话。</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">谁依旧在为无法改变的过去在做无谓的挣扎,不停地后悔?人真的只有在失去的时候才会懂得珍惜吗?当人有权有势的时候,生命就是如此脆弱;当人什么都没有的时候,生命是如此顽强。难道上天是</span><span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">在作弄人吗?还是上天是公平的?我不晓得,但我知道</span><span style="font-family: SimSun; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span lang="ZH-CN">人是不可能让一个人拥有一切,当你有了物品甲,你就会失去物品乙。换句话说,当你想要某样东西时,你就要以另外一样同等的东西来交换,换取你所要拥有的——等价交换。</span></span></div>
ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-32188945870336775382015-04-29T08:26:00.001-07:002015-04-29T08:26:33.284-07:00._. 现在的心情好奇怪,好纠结。刚开始读书还以为找不到朋友,可是却认识了4个疯子。最好的当然是姐姐,虽然一直给我欺负哈哈,我还一直厚脸皮的叫她不要欺负我。wee nee aka winnie,捧场王! 我说什么她就笑什么,可能我说的东西真的那么好笑吧,没关系,她的笑声也让我笑得要死了。重点是我们两个可以一起笑到不会停,到最后姐姐还要来阻止我们笑... 还有另外两个, 一个大姐,一个妹妹呵呵呵。超好玩的一群人,让我觉得我去college的意义就是如此呀~<br />
科科是不可少的,但是超不爽derr,他的sem 1没考过2.0不能拿5科,放弃mpu了,放弃唯一可以跟我一起疯狂的科目。不知道是好事还是坏事,我拿5科他拿5科就只有一科是同班。唉哟,超难过derr... 我现在的班大部分都是jan intake的, 他们已经熟到烂了,我们几个可怜的mar intake存在感超薄弱。只有在mpu遇到的才叫是人,其他的都是可怕的怪物。T_T<br />
认识短短的两个月,我们之间有的是缘分,感情,甚至是深厚的友谊,但天意弄人。我现在却要跟winnie说再见。心里真的很不好受,为什么要这样,刚开始还说不会批的,还一起开开心心去上电脑课。哎哟,我也不知道要怎样。心情超复杂,少了一个嘻嘻哈哈,跟我一起装傻的人。我以后有什么不会的东西不能问她了,在班上老师说到废废的东西不能跟她一起笑了.... T_T 明天到底要怎样? 遇到她要说什么?相信她今天应该睡不好,而且她一定是眼睛肿肿的吧...haihhh...<br />
加油吧,winnie...ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-56542146224599079722015-04-23T07:38:00.002-07:002015-04-23T07:38:45.260-07:00突如其来的心情。<br />
我又开始迷茫。 这一次我不想告诉别人。<br />
我甚至不想讲话。<br />
文字也形容不了的心情。<br />
我不知道...不知道...ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-65661463435504392952015-02-26T21:52:00.002-08:002015-02-26T21:52:34.384-08:00<div>
我无法像别人一样写着自己的美好生活,写着自己每天都过得怎样怎样。我的生活就是如此,我能怎样?</div>
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人说经历都是给自己的成长。我宁愿不要这些成长,不要这些痛苦的回忆,不要这些烦人的东西。我知道我很任性,很自我,很自私。我不希望我的生活是这样,像垃圾般的生活。</div>
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我到底是什么?我还找不到目的,找不到我想要的东西。我不想再受伤,不想再被人耍,我选择先下手。</div>
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我想要独自一个人,但是我却害怕。这矛盾的心情,一直在我脑海里转... </div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">青春有两个方向,一个是成长</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">一个是沧桑。</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">只有经历沧桑,才能真正成长。</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">青春有两个你,一个明亮</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">一个忧伤。</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">只有抗得住忧伤,才能活得明亮。</span></div>
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说真的,想痛哭一场,但是想想自己几岁了啊,还在哭。坚强些吧,或许会遇到更好的事。</div>
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#狗屁自我安慰 </div>
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ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-25736003730922103752015-02-16T07:57:00.000-08:002015-02-16T07:57:44.751-08:00我开始紧张了,农历新年都还没过,但是我却为那个该死的成绩开始烦恼。 如果我真的考不好要怎么办?真的要吃自己? 真的要找死? 虽然老爸老妈真的不介意,但是我自己却很想做好,很想让爸妈再次为我这个曾经拿过好成绩的孩子骄傲,很想再次让婶婶刮目相看。<br />
我那该死的历史,真的要吃大便了。我只求你给我一个及格。我不求甲乙丙丁,只求及格!!<br />
及格!! 你明不明白?<br />
考得那么烂,试卷一那么糟糕,我应该当场把考卷撕成18段!! 反正又不是没有撕过 /.\ 好串。 我希望我看到成绩过后不会当场把它撕掉,我是认真的。 LOL 历史考卷撕掉算什么。更可怕的是,我怕我没有的拿成绩。 够力够力够力够力!!<br />
<br />ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-89283785688574268522015-02-06T21:58:00.000-08:002015-02-06T21:58:01.227-08:00生日快乐。无法隆重的庆祝,只好用五个字。我不再是小孩。<br />
18岁,我应该疯狂还是继续啃书?我疯狂完,发现我并不应该如此,到后悔的时候,我该如何是好?矛盾的心情,又再次把我逼疯。<br />
真的很想回去,回到过去,我还是个小毛孩的时候,有着最亲的人在身边的时候,至少我可以不用为我自己做的选择而后悔,至少他们知道怎么做才可以让我得到最好的,不会受伤害。自己慢慢长大,慢慢了解人生并不是如此简单的时候,一切已经太迟了。 我也许可以得到更好的,也许可以要求,可以为我自己负点责任。<br />
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I HATE MY LIFE. 我差不多每一天都是这样告诉自己。我讨厌我的生活。我觉得我每一天过着的都是笑话,甚至我自己也是个笑话。ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-36312620338108747412015-01-20T03:25:00.001-08:002015-01-20T03:25:29.178-08:00讨人厌的情绪化又来了,回到以前我很不理智的时候了。望着天空,果然有一种令人无法自拔的能力,让我想起了她。她的离开已经有一个月了,我到现在都还没真正的痛哭。我写不下去了。<br />
她握着我的手,这一个画面一直浮现在我脑海里。我受不了了,一直不停的装,哭完还要着地方躲起来,不要被人看到。ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-62065849540480260462015-01-13T03:39:00.001-08:002015-01-13T03:39:15.052-08:00w.o.r.kLife after spm, must be sleeping, eating, playing, studying, working. After i done my sleeping, eating, playing, it's time to start working. Last few days, which was 10th and 11th of January, i started my work with shitshit *seechin* at PICC (Putrajaya International Convention Centre) as a fair promoter.<br />
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Before that, i was completely down and upset for driving to publika for 1hr due to the stupidity of me which don't really know how to see waze and those roads were totally dark. So me and shit started our journey to putrajaya at 7am. Well, thanks god for bringing us to the right way, not the wrong way haha. First time to work in a strange place, we couldn't get so much of infos, so we were walking like a nerd in the place, explored the whole hall and so on. We saw the poster, the fair started at 11am-10pm. WTH. What for we came so early? It's okay. We waited there, wasted times there. Like finally, 11am! Every booth was completely prepare but our booth got no one. This was really bad, we got no working passes, got no uniform, those people must be thinking we were crazy bitches who sat there and did nothing. wth.<br />
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At the end, the consultant came. A pakistani who looked like indian. He teach us the price what kind of shit in front of us and bla bla bla. MOST IMPORTANTLY, We cannot understand what he said, the slang that he used totally make everything worst. We don't really know how to do. I think that was the worst day of my life. Luckily, shit's uncle was there to save us from hell. Although our work was like giving out the enquiry forms to the customers and tidy up those woods, eat and sit. Seriously nothing to do.<br />
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The second day was surprisingly good, i guessed. There were 3 consultants and 2 of us as part time workers. Yea, did nothing for the whole day except sat at the corner and watch tv, since that fair was a mega fair and all about home deco& furniture / mama& baby. Simply chit-chat just to kill time so that we won't feel boring and sleepy. What a day. All of us were waiting to back home ha.ha.ha...<br />
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As a result for my 2 days working,<br />
DONT THINK THAT WORKING IS VERY FUN, AS A STUDENT, PLEASE APPRECIATE YOUR STUDY TIME, I PREFER STUDY MORE THAN WORKING. WORKING IS KILLING ME LIKE WTF IS THAT. WORKING IS NOT AS GOOD AS YOU THINK. KIDS OUT THERE, PLEASE THINK WISELY AND CAREFULLY, WORKING DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING. IF I HAVE THE SECOND CHANCE TO CHOSE WORKING OR STUDYING, I WILL DEFINITELY CHOOSE STUDYING WITHOUT HESITATION.ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-45037028066727282472014-12-19T08:11:00.001-08:002014-12-19T08:11:13.700-08:00that day,4.15pm 不舍得又能怎样,难道你要跪在地上死缠烂打地挽留? 该走的,还是会走。我跪在地上,前面就是个神牌,不断回想以前的一切,我是多么的不礼貌,不孝顺。人永远都是这样,不断为自己所做过的一切后悔,我也是其中一个。<div>
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真没想到,原来还有这样的亲戚,恶心死了。婆婆还在的时候,买了3次东西后就没有再来看婆婆,现在婆婆已经不在了,却前前后后不断买食物供奉婆婆。 有这个必要吗? 人还在的时候你在哪里?你家还比我家还要靠近,却一直找借口说不得空,但你所谓的不得空就是到处去说我妈妈的坏话?搞屁,这狗屁人类,我连叫他一声都嫌麻烦。只怪他是我长辈。</div>
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说真的,前几天我去看婆婆的时候,她是紧紧握着我的手。那时候,我还没觉得怎么样。前后不到几天,变化太大了。虽然有了心理准备,但是这种事情难免会让人伤心欲绝。真的是一场葬礼,看透所有人。要不是有了葬礼,我也不知道原来我还有那么多堂表兄弟姐妹。这家族,大也不算大,小也不算小。但要写起整个家族的名字就各自抓头 -,-</div>
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婆婆离开了几天,我到现在还不能适应,感觉上她一直都还在。想起她还握着我的手的时候,好像事情才刚发生一样。从小到大,虽然知道她最疼爱的还是妹妹,每一早起床都是先问妹妹在哪里,但我还是会问回她要帮她做什么的。在我家住了快有10年了吧,行动不方便,每天都在埋怨自己,其实一直都在放不下很多事情,知道那一天,看着你很慈祥的离开,婆婆你真的放下了。</div>
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虽然婆婆的故事一直再重复又重复,每一次说起她都会落泪。很明显的,婆婆以前经历的一切,是我们年轻一辈无法体会的。我们只能给予婆婆最后的尊重。</div>
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不断在别人面前掩饰自己的痛苦、难受,但到最后辛苦的是自己。把自己搞病是个最好的证明。亲戚一直不让我们哭出声音,想找个人来哭也没有办法,那种心情... </div>
ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-79924812969054496292014-12-08T01:42:00.000-08:002014-12-08T01:42:18.965-08:00le trip<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Back from a 3d2n trip to bukit tinggi. hehe. well spend with my classmates. Although it is not a 12 people's trip but, there will be another chance for us to have a full attendance's trip. </div>
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Before that i really nervous and excited, im so call the leader in the trip, i take the job to buy them food, and those shit they need ha, and also treasurer. $_$. I never know how big their stomach were, so i try my best to buy them food, erm.. too much food i guess? aiya, a little bit of waste but most of them placed in jy's house, im so sorry to those south africa's kidsssss... </div>
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yay, day 1. </div>
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Ate breakkie, and trip start. Everyone is getting excited, since this is our first trip. GPS GPS GPS. First stop at horse trails. Pay RM2 for only visit the horse and watch them poop and pee. -,- RM30 for riding 30mins hell, all of us don't want to waste the money, so just walk-in and watch those kids riding them. Seriously, those scene is very 18+ haha the horses are very sexy... *__* they all are huge, that ass +_+ hahaha nice experience to smell their poop, buahaha</div>
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The car walked until half way, off air-cond, and continue drive like a slow turtle, i think if i walk for sure faster than that. lmao, the uncle's car got problem, or what.. cant even go up the hill.. haha, at the end, we have to suffer in walking in such a slanting road to japanese village. We walk like a boss and monopoly the road, bad habit haaha. BUKIT TINGGI IS NOT THAT COOL AND WINDY AT ALL. lmao i feel like taking off all my shirt, sweat like waterfall. EYES TURN BRIGHTLY when we saw tatami spa, but then walk until the top, UNDER MAINTENANCE. kay, japanese village was not fun for me. T_T </div>
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Animal park, the place which we play the most. RABBITS ARE TOO CUTE. OMG. Those rabbits are really look like how we watch in the cartoon, exactly the same. We chase rabbits, catch rabbits like we own the rabbits. HAHA omg that moment is really fun. </div>
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French village, everything is all about money. You paid and you get, We just walk and see those decorations and starving haha. The view is really not bad. ha. We selfie all the way and hae all the time. </div>
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*spot ray* he always try to get into the pic whenever i take pic </div>
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Back to the place we are staying in, rucheng's house. Everything is just fine, swim, eat, chat.. Bad things, err, i rather skip it. I NO DRINK DAO MY YOGURT! URGHH! They drink the yogurt drinks like water, and i just drink a sip of it only, T_T and most of the times, i drink it from other people's cup ,____, *sobsob* im a cooking mama for the first 2 days, walao ;__; i feel very bored with the job, so i resign the job for the 3rd day hahaha </div>
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Great success for this trip. Cant wait for the next trip for the real #12. </div>
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ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-50744501081268715202014-12-01T10:20:00.002-08:002014-12-01T10:20:44.940-08:001st of December.<div style="font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
huhh, sigh.. I got no such feeling like excited or happy.. what is
exam? what is test? NO IDEA. but, it is great like finally it ended. i got no
confident at all for every subjects, everything is screwed up by the
government. ha, im just afraid of bad result, and disappointed pap and mam.
Don't expect too much from me, im not really that good at everything. yeah, im
a very negative people, <span style="font-family: SimSun;">自卑</span>.. i got no self confident. ha very funny right?
you must be thinking im joking, but seriously.. no lie. </div>
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hell,
i just realize i got many bad things.. </div>
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Recently,
i feel bad for everything. Everything cant go smoothly, so freaking sad. mam
keep on scolding me, lmao. great one. hmm, please at least give me some hope. i
just want to get back my happy life. </div>
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i get
my new bae for yesterday, a laptop. For future study used, but those spec i
choose it by myself. hehe. When i said study for business, then the promoter
suggested a normal one and then i said, i want can gaming de. HAHA the promoter
shocked. WHAT CANT A GIRL GET A GAMING PC OR WHAT? PROBLEM? HEHE.</div>
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My
bro no stop me or what, he no say cannot get a gaming laptop. But he dont want
acer, keep on asking me to get another brand another brand. Quite blur with it
dey, how can it be so troublesome? I am still hanging half way, my bro
said go toilet do his business. Lmao I can get a white laptop dey -,- </div>
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5hrs
+ at low yat like a stupid, tiredness overload. I can feel like the leg is not
mine anymore. No place to sit, Sunday is not a good day. </div>
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Welcome
home bae, little fei zai. <3 p=""><div style="font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
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ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-15190685012430762312014-10-31T10:06:00.000-07:002014-10-31T10:06:52.701-07:00I hope that my impulsiveness judged you wrongly. I hope that we will be alright and together like the past... i really appreciate you as my friend, even my part of life.ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-79437495278977274752014-10-31T08:10:00.000-07:002014-10-31T08:10:45.600-07:00Im so sad. And even frustrated. The meaning of friends can be so weak. I feel like dying inside my heart, the story of my friendship have to come to the end? I dont know. I know i was wrong. I was truly wrong for what i have done. But what to blame? I dont want to blame anyone, but since everyone said i started everything, kay fine. I got nothing to say.<br />
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I very appreciate you in my life. I never think that one day you would be hating me like that. I keep on telling myself it will be alright. But deep inside my heart is breaking into pieces.<br />
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FUCK MY LIFE.ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-35013821626331416072014-10-29T02:16:00.001-07:002014-10-29T02:16:22.135-07:00part 1It is still early for me to do a conclusion for year 2014, since it is only the end of the October only. Well, using some simple english to run the whole blog, impressed by myself nyahhh <div>
TOMORROW, 30/10/2014.. im going to graduate from secondary school, with a bunch of friends who worked, played, studied all the way with me for 5 years.</div>
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Less than 24 hours from now on, nervous like hell, and excited. </div>
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This year was not completely satisfied but yet there is still a bundle of joys which i never forget. The most thing i did with my friends were not paying attention during the class and discussion about our first met. And the discussion last for few months haha, forgive us teacher! </div>
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Dont leave any chance for you to regret your decision. But i regret all the time when i did any decisions. #facepalm i could now say i did the best but at least i tried. Became the treasurer in the class, the leader of the school carnival, vice-president of koperasi, and so on -_- it truly gave me invaluable experiences and unforgettable memories. *feeling proud and great to have friends who worked with me and tolerated me * </div>
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I know myself, for being rude, impolite, irrational, and more and more bad attitudes. Peoples who by my side as my partners must be suffered a lot hahaha, sincerely sorry for that. </div>
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Tomorrow is the last day to have fun, get crazy in school. </div>
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I still haven't do any revision HAHAHA it's ok, i will still catch up in a short while. Yea, *90° bow* </div>
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Hoping our friendship will last forever. #12 #bananagang #5G'14 #乌龟•闺蜜 #lemonade #jinjangbbq #happyfamily </div>
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<b>영원히•우정</b></div>
ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-80843486181859821712014-05-24T09:14:00.000-07:002014-05-24T09:14:28.496-07:00life is bad.yeapp guess what.. im updating my blog right now. It has been a long long time for not coming here to update.<br />
I got no idea what to update, since my life was bad enough. urghh kayy.. *trying to be positive*<br />
This year is my final year for my secondary school, huh?! How bad and sad.. I thought this year is going to be awesome and memorable, but thanks to someone who seriously created a "memories" for me. >__><br />
By the way, that's not the point. I'm here to upgrade my life. I wish to have a better life with all i have right now.<br />
<br />
Let go the bad things. But why i have to be faker all the time? Seriously sad for that huh /.\ I have told myself all the time that stop being a faker, but what to do? I just don't feel like messing up people's mind. KAY IM WEIRD. *i'm seriously not that great.. HAHA*<br />
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let's do some flash back.. since my pass few months were quite awesome with classmates and schoolmates. yayy! PARTY ROCKS!<br />
school had a carnival, yeah, that's cool. Le me as the leader for the class carnival was busying for the whole stuff.. HELL YEAH.<br />
-collect modal<br />
-planning shit<br />
-passing forms<br />
-thinking how to do<br />
-interact w teachers<br />
-and more shits<br />
THIS WAS NOT FUN. Preparation is the biggest shit ever in my life. This was so stress. I was stress until I felt like giving up my life and so on. But luckily i got my 36 partner, RAY for helps. Yeah, thank you so much ray ray! yayyy! Although he was so pattern that time for choosing him as my assistant, but the end he still helped me a lot and settled a lot of shit too.. hehehe, *90 degree bow*<br />
That day was tiring but fun with them. They were awesome, i mean my classmate hehe. I thought they dont really give a damn on the carnival because i said what nobody listened to me. That day was pretty well, most of them came to the stall and done their duty. Most unexpectedly, CKY helped quite a lot on that day. At first i thought he was that type of people who invested on the stall and dont give a shit after that, but he did quite a lot on that day. hmm, he deserved a like from me.<br />
The fishballs that i cooked were tasty yayy, drink was nearly perfect, but the fruits stick were ok ok only. *for me lahh* Most of the food were sold out except the fruits. I bought super extra until i could just give the left over fruits to teacher or sold to aunty. Our cooperation made me feel proud. They willing to sacrifice their sweet time and did all the crazy stuff with me. HAHA, they still thanks me in the group chat, but i was the one who really need to say thanks to all of them. Without them, there's no 5G and 5G stall...<br />
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kay, it's turn to talk about sports dayyy..<br />
well, feel like giving a big big damn to the principal who push forward the sports day and carnival. It makes everything goes not really well. Ponteng class for 2 or 3 weeks? nyahhh, i dont care. Was busying the mural and the khemah and bla bla bla, i cant remember well, i got memory shortage. sports day wasn't that good but memories were still there. yayy!<br />
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honestly, i got no time to study. although got sufficient of time but.. i wasted. haha. Dont really hope to get a good result this time, but at least.. i have tried.<br />
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Glad to end the suffering weeks, and now, it's time to enjoy the holidays!<br />
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Although you only live once is quite old and annoying since everything you did were always yolo, but lastly...<br />
#YOLO #LOHYEHMOHYEH!ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-85131601225694246802013-09-29T06:06:00.001-07:002013-09-29T07:00:28.529-07:00기대. GiDae.<p>久違了,部落格。 俺心血來潮,來打掃唄。</p>
<p>考試前一點鴨梨都沒有,臉上明顯咯… 現在考試了,臉好像砂紙。<br>
一天沒睡,現在睡足十年都沒有用。 我比較喜歡臨時抱佛腳,這樣鴨梨沒有留太久。當天有壓力,第二天考完那張紙神馬都是浮雲咧!</p>
<p>慘了,才考幾張紙,已經開始鬆懈了。看到別人在什麼時候都在讀書,反而自己兩手空空的時候特別寂寞。 別人那麼努力,自己卻在那邊嘻嘻哈哈。我真的要到考試才會有壓力 -.- 可能明年我就會手上有書了吧 呵呵呵。</p>
<p>啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!今年的十一月一定是我的最愛! 人生第一次,搭飛機!YAYYY! 飛機誒!*forgive me behave like a kampung girl* 這種心情一生人只有一次,錯過了就沒了哇哈!! 想到都開心o(≧o≦)o! 現在還有一個月,恨不得馬上到十一月! 搭完飛機回來再幾個星期又去玩,想到玩就開始瘋了,瘋了! 我真的瘋了! </p>
<p>起初,我對這一年徹底失望了。我以為我會一直情緒化下去,但是真的要感恩啊。謝謝莉鴒,欣蕙,恩瑜,凱欣,靖妍還有很多很多人。剛開始對他們四個都有不滿,但是到現在盡力了太多太多,吵架吵架,哭哭鬧鬧,不關我們的事也拿來吵。真的謝謝你們還有其他人曾經體諒,原諒我的脾氣、性格、說話方式… 沒有這些包容,我看我們早就絕交了吧! </p>
<p>莉鴒啊,有時候真的很頂不順你。講話婉轉一點啦,一句話打死人咩?有時候老是情緒化,苦瓜臉,但是你總有你的原因吧。不要一直在班上睡覺啦,你給我整年的印象只有睡覺!哈哈哈但是到最後還有老大的回憶啦!記得要有正能量!</p>
<p>靖妍,開導我很多哦! 雖然每次為你東西多兩下你都皺眉頭,但是我知道你還是喜歡我的哈哈哈哈哈!從小就認識你,還記得你一年級的時候,短短頭髮,樣子跟你媽媽一模一樣哦! 哈哈哈哈 怎樣都好,我已經習慣你怎樣對我,謝謝你啊! </p>
<p>明知道他看不到,但是要非常非常謝謝他。如果沒有他,我就不會變得這樣的一個人。把我推到了,讓我自己一個人站起來。我成功了,但留下了一大堆後遺症。他也許很寂寞,需要一個人來陪你聊天,是男的都會想到那些話題吧!他在我充滿負能量的時候,也曾鼓勵我。*although you are more negative than me * 哈哈 </p>
<p>to rynne, idk whether you can saw it or not, but still I want to comment about the latest blog post . HEHE <br>
Yes, you definitely change a lot especially this year. Maybe you gain too much stress and cause you a lot of problems? hmm, I think if they do not exist, you will be better ? haha but it's too late to let them disappeared. 活在當下,既然你已經回不了頭,為何不繼續向前看?大膽說出自己的意願、不滿吧!the old you would only write things about exam or any subjects you can't handle well, but now.. walao eh, those negative charge was more than happy things. I really hope you can live in happiness but not those frustration or unhappy. Jia You Ba. </p>
<p>回想起以前我是一個多麼愚蠢的東西,人開竅了,不一定死依賴一樣東西。蕨類以來在別的樹上是獲取陽光,進行光合作用;而我依靠在別人,自己卻什麼都沒有吸收到。哈哈哈 後悔也沒用,浪費了幾年的時間。 <br>
The end of the post. :) 사랑해친구<br>
PEACE! <br>
</p>
ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657568326855971511.post-83175793856110769982013-05-31T09:55:00.001-07:002013-05-31T10:05:37.116-07:00<p>不知為何,我開始討厭你 =.= 就是因為嫉妒兩個字。<br>
開始覺得自己沒有朋友了。慢慢發現我活著的每一天都是廢的。<br>
以前曾經這樣對我,現在返回來,我發現我也是用同一種方法來折磨我自己。<br>
今年,我一定會是很吊。-.- </p>
<p>我開始不正常… <br>
為什麼我要活得那麼辛苦?<br>
為什麼‘嫉妒’會存在在世上?<br>
為什麼明知痛苦但還要去看?</p>
<p>瞬間內向… </p>
<p>有話想說但又沒有機會;給了機會,中間一定有個程咬金來打岔。<br>
那你下次不要問我有什麼問題比較好-.- <br>
跟多人說自己的事真的很麻煩,就算說了答案也只會是一樣。</p>
ßοωιε﹏Vγεεhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18102032473678145255noreply@blogger.com0